It's all your fault

The Dragon continues to insist that the agreement that was recently signed is inaccurate and it must be changed. She insists that there is an error; that Max does not physically get Jessie at 8 a.m. on his scheduled weekday access - she is to take her to school, and he is just "responsible" for her as of 8a.m.. Yes, because that makes sense. Well if that’s the case, than if he is responsible for Jessie at 8a.m. than he will responsibly pick her up from the Dragon Den and have her responsibly at school a short time thereafter.

Out of concern that once again Dragon is up to her malicious ways to sabotage his access, Max contacted his lawyer. She explained the whole rationality behind the 8 a.m. scheduled time: the parties, respectful lawyers and mediator ALL agreed to the time so that Max could have before school time with Jessie AND to reduce the cost of day care as he is available to care for her when her Mother is not. 

Apparently the Dragon conveniently forgets this conversation. Apparently she went home after mediation and had "buyer’s remorse" over what she agreed to. Too bad Dragon. It is what it is until a later review date. 

But when you are a Dragon, you want to get your way and you will do what you need to do to get that way. 

Max goes to pick Jessie up for his scheduled access at the Dragon Den. She rages "I have to spend $3000 to have the agreement changed. When are YOU going to let up Max?"

Perspective of a Dragon: take no blame; pass all onto others as it's never your fault. I want control. I will get my way as it is my way or no way. I don't care if the agreement is court ordered, I am above the law, and I will spend more money to get my way, despite me being over $25,000 in debt. Max should just do what I say. I have no understanding of why he cares to spend time with his daughter before school and don't care to understand. I don't think she should jump from my home to his. However, I am okay for her to jump from home to home when it is convenient for me.  

Perspective of a rationale human being: the schedule has been set, I agreed upon it less than 2 weeks ago, I may have some concerns, however I am willing to allow for it to play out and will re-evaluate at the review date. It would be silly for me to want to spend $3000 to have it changed for 45 minutes of time once per week. Not to mention, Jessie would love that time with her father and her siblings. 

The Dragon hands Max a sheet of paper before she slams the door in his face. He brings that sheet of paper home. Scribbled on it is:

$500 - mediator one

$24, 500 - lawyer one 

$9,000 - lawyer two 

$2100 - mediator two

BIG underline and total = $36,100

I laugh. Once again, pass blame, my debt is your entire fault Max.  Alright, let us now see HOW and WHY that money was sent: 

The beginning (2 1/2 years ago): 

Max is denied access over and over depending on which personality the Dragon found herself in, whether she was mad or not with Max, and wanted to punish him by taking away his time with Jessie. Max executed numerous attempts to come to some agreement with Dragon over access with no progress. She wants all the control. Max finally goes to a lawyer to understand his rights. 

Max suggests to Dragon a mediator locally: refusal. He finally is able to convince her after Max hands over to her a cheque for $2700. Manipulation at its best isn’t it. They attempt this mediator. Next day Max is told this mediator is not trained in mediation and that his agreements are always turned over in court. It was recommended that he suspend further use of this mediator.  So Max begins his search for another mediator. He recommends to Dragon a more qualified option. Of course, she refuses and provides every excuse imaginable as to why she is refusing to engage. So, unfortunately Max is forced to go back to his lawyer. 

Her lawyer one: 

• Dragon finds out I am pregnant, suddenly a request to the courts for over $4500 in combined child and spousal support. Courts deny her request and settle on 1/3 of this. 
• Dragon is not happy with the results and appeals in higher court: a costly venture that could have cost her over $20,000
• Time passes as do several costly court sessions or lawyer intervention over the following because of Dragon's need for control and inability to negotiate reasonably with Max: 1) time over summer  2) allowance for myself or Max's Mother or other designate to pick Jessie up at school or the Dragon Den should Max be unavailable 2) time over Christmas  3) time for Father's Day 4) time for summer holidays for the second year in a row ....list goes on 
• Over the course of 10 months, Max provides two offers to settle i.e. agreement that would have finalized everything – both ignored by Dragon, with no counter offers  
• Several attempts by Max and his lawyer to have Dragon attempt mediation with two separate mediators. Refusals by Dragon to all these offers. 
• Finally a private court session whereby Dragon is told by the judge she is in essence an idiot and the source of conflict and that she is not doing her duty as primary resident in promoting a healthy relationship between Jessie and her father and to smarten up or else.
• Hopeful this slap on the hand will improve the situation, nothing  changes, as Dragon is above the law 
• Dragon fires her lawyer as she isn't happy with what the judge tells her and it must be her lawyers fault, not hers 

Lawyer two: 

• Bring on new lawyer; finally someone with common sense who suggests Dragon you had better trial mediation as you are not going to fare well in court with the label that has been assigned to you  
• Lawyer charges likely over $500 an hour. Guess when you are as reckless as the Dragon you need to hire someone good to fix all that you have messed up. 

Mediation 

• Finally mediation. Settlement. Agreement. Hopefully closure. Let's all move forward. 

Let the Saga Continue 

• One week later - denials of access. Dragon not following the agreement. Back to lawyers. 

 

But apparently all the money the Dragon spent in the legal system (and apparently wants to continue to spend) is all Max's fault. 

Mirror, mirror on the wall....are you capable Dragon of admitting wrong doing and owning up to your mistakes?? Apparently not. Reflect that fault onto someone else Dragon. You see no evil. You are no evil. It's everyone else that is right?