Well you
would think that a 15 page Minutes of Settlement agreement would be thorough
enough to prevent any further discussions between two parties on issues like child
access and support. But apparently when you are a Dragon nothing is ever enough
and there will always be a bone of contention.
The
Minutes of Settlement are so black and white a child could read it and walk
away with a clearer understanding of what was agreed upon than a manipulative malicious
Dragon could. There really should be no
issue. But within one week of the agreement being written disputes were being
brought forth by the Dragon. As Max’s lawyers office very elegantly stated “the
ink isn’t even dry!”
She
questioned aspects of the access. She questioned aspects of the support. The
demands and issues kept coming.
In
mediation the mediator clearly stated that with this very detailed agreement
there really should be very minimal contact between the two parties. She also suggested
that the parties should communicate by email only, and on that regard, once a
week would be sufficient. She saw no reasons for phone calls or in person
discussions, especially in light with the Dragons need to engage in conflict
with Jessie present. These in person or over phone discussion should be far and
few in her eyes.
But apparently
the Dragon thrives on conflict. Like a vampire,
her blood is conflict. But I am sorry Dragon dear, Max and I really do not care
to feed your need for drama. So bring on the boundaries.
In a very
clear and detailed email the following were outlined.
Phone calls
Max made
it clear he wanted no more phone calls from Dragon. She has proved time and time again that she is
incapable of a human conversation. She degrades Max and she manipulates and bombards
the conversation. So why would he want
to engage in chat with you Ms. Dragon? Unless it is an emergency with regards
to Jessie, don’t call the house! Put it in an email otherwise. And if it is an
emergency, details as to what that emergency is need to be left on the machine
message, at which point Max can call her back.
No “it’s about Jessie, call me.” Nice try. Not going to fall for that
one.
If Jessie
wants to call, have her. She can also leave a message and Max can call her
back.
Emails
No daily
bombard of issues please. Once a week send your concerns or questions. If more
than that, they won’t be responded to. They will be responded on one day,
unless an emergency.
On that,
very often Max has had to say on an issue that this in my one and only response
on this issue and after this, I will not respond to any more emails on this
issue. It is like dealing with a child
really!
Pick up and drops offs
Max
refuses to go to the door for picks ups and drop offs anymore. Why would he
when he is yelled at, abused, ridiculed, all in front of Jessie. How is that
healthy for either? He now sits in the car and waits for Jessie at pick up
time. And for drop off, stands by the car as she walks up to the door. She
waves back when she sees her mom.
All of these
have all helped really. We hear from her less. And if we do get a call or she
emails, there is plan for boundaries. We feel like there is some control over
the situation, she is not the one controlling us as she wishes she could. It is refreshing really.
While the
list of boundaries grows and grows by the day, we are figuring it all out. She
only has control if we let her.
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